VERY often in my mailbox are jokes about women and I admit I spend a few minutes having a laugh as I did today reading stuff like the ones below: When we are born, our mother’s get the compliments and the flowers. When we are married, our brides get the presents and publicity. When we die, our widows get the life insurance. What do women want to be liberated from?
I smiled, nodded and continued reading: A man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, “If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.” The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.” The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. “Who are you?” I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered. “Oh, yeah?” the man asked “And where the hell were you when I got married?” I was really grinning from ear to ear when my eyes fell on something my daughter had sent me and as I read it my grin vanished and tears rolled my cheeks as I realized what humbugs we men are: Read on:
Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, “I’m tired, I think I’ll go to bed.” She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day’s lunches, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.
She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and telephone book into the drawer. Watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket, hung a towel, yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.
She stopped by the desk, wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the excursion and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed, stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her bag.
Mum then washed her face and filed her nails. Dad called out, “I thought you were going to bed.” “I’m on my way,” she said. She put some water into the dog’s dish, put the cat outside, made sure the doors were locked and the outside light on. She looked in on each of the kids, turned out their bedside lamps and radios, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.
In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list, said her prayers, visualized the accomplishment of the day and waited for her man who about that time, turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. “I’m going to bed.” And he did…without another thought..!
—Email: bobsbanter@gmail.com
