CAN any one buy happiness? Can any one buy joyful time to be remembered as long as one is alive? Some say money can buy any thing- true, but can that be a lasting happiness – of course not. The joy and happiness withers away as the money withers away. It lasts a limited period of may be few hours, few days, few weeks or may be few months. It is a déjà vu which exists in one’s mind and satisfies one’s personal ego for a limited time only. It may be characterized as borrowed joy and happiness for a very limited period. It is never permanent and can never be permanent as it not real, factual and is devoid of any solid base and foundation. It comes and goes with the inflow of money.
The real happiness and real joy has solid base, it is factual and permanent and has no relation what so ever with money. It reflects a perfect relationship between human beings, individuals and society based on mutual respect, love and affection. A true and long lasting friendship, based on trust and loyalty between two individuals is the most visible example of real joy and happiness, where money has no part to play. It is purely the bond of feelings for each other and respect for each other which transcends all forms of possible evils which some times come in to play to create divisions. Finding such friends is not only a gift from God but requires a colossal effort to maintain that bond of love and fondness for each other.
Last week I flew from my home town to a lovely and beautiful city of my country to meet a friend whom I consider a great blessing from God. My friend was on a visit after spending fours abroad, for few months and so was I, having landed here two weeks back. I can not describe the joy and happiness which I felt after meeting my best friend after four long years. The feelings were mutual and natural and firmly deep-rooted, based on important pillars of trust, loyalty, sincerity and respect. No amount of money can buy the joy and happiness we both felt meeting after four long years.
What is joy and what is happiness? Happiness is such a fleeting emotion and comes as a result of an outcome or an accomplishment. It’s brief and passes faster than the blink of an eye. I used to believe that being successful was the definition of happiness — that if I had this or that career, could just do this one big thing, or achieved this huge goal, then I’d be set for life. If only someone or something outside of myself could make me great then I’d be great. If only I could obtain what I desired then nothing else would matter. Everything would always be fantastic every waking minute. That was the mindset I had for an embarrassing number of years. I notoriously sought happiness outside of myself and believed that someone or something could offer that to me. After I became aware of my false perceptions of happiness, a near-death experience I had long time back, forced me to change my perspective. I hadn’t written too much about this near-death experience because it’s difficult to form words and explain what I experienced.
The fundamental difference between happiness and joy is that happiness is short-lived. Joy is in it for the long haul. They are not the same. You can build a joyful life simply by doing what you enjoy every day and by making time for the activities and things you can get utterly lost in. I am most joyful when I spend hours drawing portraits, doing a puzzle, or reading a really, really good book that inspires or surprises me or meeting and chatting with a friend with whom I have a long association, based on trust and mutual respect. When I’m focusing my energy on the people and things that bring me positive energy, I feel ongoing joy and it’s quite wonderful.
Events, important ones, some times, transform everything, especially perception of what leading a meaningful and joyful life means. People might assume that I am successful and happy. I’m not. There are days when I’m not successful and days when I’m not happy. But, every day, I am joyful and actively arrange my schedule around doing the activities that I love. In turn, these activities became not only my career but also my lifestyle. I don’t want to be anybody else. For many years, I wanted to be someone else. Since I changed my mindset and am leading a more joyful existence, I can say that I love being me despite all my flaws and medical issues. True and trustworthy loyal friends are important asset of your life. You are truly blessed if you have even only half a dozen of such friends who stand with you in thick and thin. Finding joy set the tone for how I responded to both good and bad stuff in my daily life. Today, I take everything with a grain of salt and tell myself to monitor my reactions and thoughts. Today, I am about focusing entirely on what brings me joy.
The fundamental difference between happiness and joy is that joy is long-term and everlasting. Happiness is fleeting and comes from external sources, not from within you. Joy comes from how you spend your energy and time while loving your life results in how you live and in spending time with your long-time and sincere friends who ignore your faults and love your company.
—The writer is Former Civil Servant and Consultant (ILO) & International Organisation for Migration.
(mughal_rashid@hotmail.com)
