THE Dean of the American university looked up with dismay at what his secretary was telling him, “That could spell doom for our universities!” he whispered. “Yes sir, especially as most of our fees come from Indian students!” said his secretary. “And when did this strange phenomenon start?”
“The day a Delhi chappy named Kejriwal was fined for trying to find out if the Prime Minister’s degree was fake! Immediately there has been a huge reaction on the Indian sub-continent; students throughout the country have dropped out from schools, colleges, coaching classes, even kindergarten, saying, “now that no one can find out how far they have studied, they don’t need certificates for degrees or diplomas anymore!”
“And so, no applications for our college?” “None at all sir, though there’s some good news!” “What’s that?” asked the American principal, happy to catch on to any straw. “The same is happening in England, Australia and Canada!” The principal of the American University put his head down, knowing his college would have to appeal for insolvency. He decided to call a friend in India, to find out what was happening.
“Let me put you on a video call,” said his Indian friend, “Can you see that bank?” “Yes,” said the principal, “but it seems to have downed its shutters, is it a holiday?” “No,” said his friend in India, “The management has decided to close down, as most of it’s money came from student loans. Now that nobody wants to study, no loans are being asked for!” “Why is there so much noise?” asked the American principal.
“All the children are on the streets!” said his Indian friend, “They are refusing to go to school, and many parents also are happy, because they can save on educating their children!” There was a screeching of tires and his Indian friend hastily informed him, those were police vans going to many offices were bosses or interviewers had inadvertently asked job applicants to show their certificates, “They are all going to be put in jail!” said his Indian friend, “The police have said, they will not tolerate anyone breaking this new and welcome privacy law!”
“But you will become an uneducated country!” whispered the American university principal to his Indian friend. “How will you manage?” “That won’t happen,” said the Indian friend with a smile, “We always have our own desi methods to handle anything and everything!” “And what is that?” asked the American principal.
“Everyone is getting their own forged certificates made! That way we will continue to think we are educated!’ “But that is not what the world will think!” said the American principal. “Haven’t you noticed,” said his desi friend, “We are not bothered anymore what you or the world think of us..!”
—Email: bobsbanter@gmail.com
