You need to go out once in a while! the wife’s been telling me, “Otherwise a stage will come when the world outside won’t know you at all, or worse you might forget how to deal with the world outside!”
“Ok,” I said, and decided to cash a cheque by going myself instead of sending the driver. The cashier at the bank looked at me strangely, “Is this your cheque?” “It’s my money,” I said jovially even as I was asked to sign again and had him looking at my signature suspiciously; I didn’t blame him, for all you know he must have been thinking I was trying to pilfer money from my driver’s account.
“Account number one hundred and two!” said a sweet computer generated voice. “Sweet lady, make my number come faster!” I said loudly. I looked at the clock, the clock stared stonily back at me. I smiled at the cashier, he looked away then peeked at me from the corner of his eye and with the other eye kept a steady glance on the bank guard.
The mechanical voice called out the next number and I looked for a place to sit, there was none. The numbers went by slowly as the clock’s hands moved quickly by. “He’s very slow!” I told an old lady standing next to me. She looked at me then moved closer to the guard who walked by me. I grinned at him, he looked away and called another guard, they both walked by and stared. I smiled at them in a friendly way, but they scowled and moved away. I stared at the clock, “You’re slow!” I said, “You’ll get a bonus if you pick up speed!” The guard looked at the second guard, who stared at me as the old lady moved farther away. I guessed they wouldn’t approach me till I did something really suspicious; talking to the clock didn’t count as such I knew. “Sweet lady, have you forgotten my number?” I asked the computer voice and then rushed to the counter as it was called out. Both guards rushed with me, but moved away sheepishly when I produced my precious token.
I walked back to the comfort of my car and decided that there were too many weird people outside. As I walked into my home I saw my wife with a question on her lips, “How did you like the outside world?” she asked with a smile. “Did you make any friends?””I tried,” I said, “but I was rebuffed by an unfriendly clock, the guards and an old lady. All because I spoke to the friendly computer-generated voice!” My wife’s phone rang, “Bob!” she whispered to me, muffling the speaker, “the bank manager’s on the phone, “he says some weird guy came and withdrew money from your account..!”
—Email: bobsbanter@gmail.com
