Emotional invalidation can shape us, still we can finally begin to reclaim our voice.
Naseha Shaban
How many times have you heard it?
“You’re too sensitive.”
“You take everything to heart.”
“You’re overreacting.”
“Don’t take it so personally.”
If you’ve ever been told this “Especially by people you trusted” it’s likely that, over time, you began to question yourself and these seemingly harmless phrases leave a long-lasting impact.
This article isn’t about blame.
It’s about awareness.
It’s about understanding what emotional invalidation is and how it chips away at our sense of self.
Most importantly, it’s about helping yourealize that your sensitivity was never the problem “being misunderstood was”.
What Emotional Invalidation Looks Like.
Emotional invalidation often begins in childhood, and it doesn’t always come from a place of cruelty.
Sometimes, parents, teachers, or caretakers simply don’t know how to respond to big emotions.
They shut them down because that’s what they were taught.
So, when you cried easily, you were told to “toughen up.
” When you asked questions, you were “too curious.
” When you expressed hurt, you were “dramatic.
” So, what happens then?
These moments may seem small, but they add up and they teach you one dangerous thing: Your feelings are not valid.
Slowly, they teach you that your pain is an inconvenience.
You learn to suppress, secondguessing yourself.
You become someone who’s always “fine” even when you’re not.
You over-explain and apologize too much.
You become the peacekeeper, the helper, the strong one until you’re so far from your true self, you don’t even recognize your own voice anymore.
So, you start to adapt.
You smile when you’re hurting and you say “it’s okay” when it’s really not.
You try to be easy-going, agreeable, likable.
But underneath that, a quiet ache begins to grow that says: “I don’t feel seen.
I don’t feel heard.
” Sensitivity Is Not a Flaw.
It’s a Compass.
Here’s something you may have never been told that sensitivity is a strength.
To feel deeply is to be human.
It’s how we connect, how we love, how we notice the subtle shifts in a room, the tension behind someone’s smile, the pain behind their silence.
Sensitivity is what makes you a good friend, a compassionate mother, a thoughtful partner.
But when you grow up believing that your emotions are “too much,” you start to view this powerful part of yourself as a liability instead of a gift.
People-Pleasing Is Not Who You Are Many sensitive souls become people-pleasers.
You try to avoid conflict, put others first.
You anticipate needs, over-function, you became good at reading the room, saying yes when you wanted to say no.
But people-pleasing isn’t kindness.
Its self-abandonment dressed up as care.
You’re not here to be easy to digest.
You’re here to be real.
Letting go of people-pleasing is not about becoming rude or uncaring.
It’s about drawing boundaries, speaking your truth, and remembering that your needs matter too.
Reclaiming Your Voice Reclaiming your voice means giving yourself permission to feel, speak, and be fully seen.
It starts with small steps:
• Saying “no” without guilt.
• Taking a pause before answering.
• Speaking honestly even if your voice shakes.
• Allowing yourself to cry without shame.
• Asking for what you need.
It’s not your job to be everything to everyone.
It’s okay to walk away from conversations that make you feel small.
Your boundaries don’t make you unkind, they make you self-respecting.
The Healing Journey: From Silenced to Seen Your voice is still in there.
It might be buried under years of doubt and discomfort, but it’s waiting and the more you show up for yourself, the louder it becomes.
Healing doesn’t mean you’ll never feel hurt again.
It means you no longer blame yourself for it.
It means you allow your emotions to move through you, instead of hiding them.
It means you stop seeing your sensitivity as a weakness and start seeing it as the compass that’s been guiding you all along.
Healing Is a Choice You can’t go back and undo the years of being misunderstood but you can choose now to understand yourself.
You can stop blaming yourself for how others responded to your feelings.
You can stop trying to fix what was never broken.
One day, you’ll look back at your younger self the one who kept everything bottled up, the one who just wanted to be accepted and you’ll feel compassion, appreciating yourself for surviving.
You’ll honour yourself by using the voice you were once afraid to use.
Because here’s the thing, If it still makes you cry, it’s a wound work on it, but if it’s just a memory, it’s a scar and scars don’t mean broken.
They mean healed.
They mean you walked through something, and you made it through.
A Gentle Reminder You are not “too much.
” You’re not “overly emotional.
” You’re not weak for feeling.
You were just never given enough space to be all that you are.
You are exactly as you were meant to be whole, sensitive, intuitive, aware.
The world needs more of that and you deserve to live fully, speak clearly, and feel deeply without apology, without editing yourself to fit into spaces that were never built for your softness.
Your voice matters, Use it.
The Written is a healing coach with a Master’s in NLP, TimeLine Therapy certification, Silva practitioner,Social worker and a background as an ex-air force officer, adeptly guides clients to inner peace.
